I began as soon as I graduated high school. I never told my mother. When she got sick a year later, the process had not gone too far for me to return and be with her on her deathbed as Kathleen. ‘After that, I went ahead full steam. Male hormones counteracted the bodily configuration f***ed on me by birth. Massive but expert plastic surgery remade what the hormones couldn’t, eliminating every trace of femininity except the ultimate. I had no desire to be a full male, so my ‘equipment’ remained original issue. ‘My self-restructuring all but wiped out my inheritance, leaving only enough money for the legalities required to change my name and identity to Kyle Chase, certified male, and the tuition to a junior college programming major. I was basically happy now, and my future was being provided for with the college courses. But, my social life bit the big one. The macho image I had worked so hard to get worked against me in the search for sexual partners: for a while, I had to scan the. This action however has me swallowing more snot into my gullet adding to my upset stomach. I don’t even know how I am able to keep from throwing up. My head swims through a myriad of twisted dreams as I float between the conscious and the unconscious. The medications I am taking never seem to keep me in either state, so I stay in the dismal unknown my head floating as I struggle through this purgatory. Always asleep yet never feeling its warm embrace completely I am left tired and worn. This cold has me regressing back to my days of an infant. I feel helpless and needy as the third and worst day drags on. Men are horrible when they are ill and on this third day I am one of those men, useless and sucky. My wife laughs a tiny laugh as she sees me typing away watching the sinus tears travel down my cheeks. I know what she is thinking because she had the same cold just a week ago and for some reason, a mystery still unknown to man, unlike me she continued as though her wall of cold was a.
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